Tonight will serve as a great test for myself. I cannot deny a feeling of anticipatory anxiety - to say otherwise would be lying to myself. And yet I know the anxiety is about nothing. There is no disastrous outcome waiting for me, and the only thing I truly feel anxious about is my anxiety itself.

Therefore, tonight serves as an excellent opportunity to test myself. Keep your emotions and anxiety absolutely in check. An indifferent and calm internal state of mind that reflects outward as calm, cool, and collected.

Stay detached to your surroundings. No sensory experience can overwhelm you. Now that I write about it, I feel excited at the chance to seize this opportunity. The rest of my life is ahead of me, and this serves as a great microcosm of what I'm trying to achieve internally.

No outcome can bother me, for I am indifferent to all of it. There's no difference between dying now and dying in 50 years, since the endpoint is known in advance. There's no point in worrying about pain - either it will pass, or I will die. In either case the outcome is not one to stress over.

And if I know the outcomes can never be too bad, I have no reason to be anxious. Being anxious about being anxious is a foolish sentiment tied up in a distinct lack of confidence.

I will kill this lack of confidence with an absolute determination that I will pass this test. No situation can waver my internal indifference and detachment.